Drowning In Light
by PhoneixMarkers
Summary: It was a pull into darkness that eventually leads the path to light. A light...the light... and a whole new world. But I was drowning in it, and I suppose that was a bad thing to do.


**Hello again, Jily shippers.**

**I have no clue what the hell I just wrote, so I hope you don't judge when I am talking about utter madness.  
This madness is worth it.**

**Enjoy... I guess?**

* * *

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For a few minutes of life, I couldn't breathe. There was nothing in my lungs and nothing standing in front of me. There was nothing and yet, there was everything. Nothing to stand in my way which gave me a possibility of everything. Standing here, I could wait for life to come to me. Standing here, my only task was to wait.

* * *

Air returned.

But this wasn't the fresh air, the fresh breath of humanity and adrenaline. It was a liquid honey, a sensation of smells gliding down my throat.

Air had returned, but darkness was still dragging me down. There was a great deal of love lost, but it was love that I had given. It had made me...weak?

* * *

"Lily? Lily, come on, wake up!" His voice was frantic, desperate, and longing. But I couldn't wake up. The darkness was too seductive to turn away. No more pain, no more deaths. I didn't have to deal with anything.

No more dealings with love.

But I should have known it wouldn't have been that simple. There was nothing that could make me turn away from this haven. Nothing, except James. I should have known he was my only weakness. The only anchor, the only thing left for me. That didn't mean that I would make things easy for him, however.

"Lily, if you don't get up right now, then you can assume that...that...you're never getting any more free chocolates from me. Ever." It was a bit pathetic. Mentally I was grinning at his attempts.

"Someone! Do something!" At this, my mental grin was replaced with a mental frown. He seemed so sad and woeful.

I always wondered how Ophelia would sound saying "woe is me." Now I have a voice to attach to the saying. But wasn't Ophelia a girl? Oh who cares.

And I went under again.

* * *

After drowning so long in darkness, the ripping sensation from the dark veil hurt my eyes. What I awoke to was something better than light. I opened my eyes to see something better than the brightest of sunlight or bluest of skies. I opened my eyes to see hazel eyes, and I drowned in them instead.

Drowning in James' eyes was far more pleasant than in the dark torture that I was in before. His eyes held warmth, washing over me and bringing relief faster than a warm shower ever could. James sighed with relief as he saw me staring at him. His mouth lifted to his right and crinkled the corner of his eyes. It was the best thing that I had seen in forever. I smiled.

"So, do I have to give you some knuts?"

James' grin dropped to form a straight line of confusion. "What? What are you talking about?"

"My chocolate, of course!" I replied with a teasing tone.

"Bloody hell. You heard that, did you? And you still didn't wake up?" He quickly changed his facial features to display a mock anger. "As a consequence, of course you'll be paying for all sweets that I want to eat."

I gave a short laugh. "I'll be bankrupt in a month!"

He smiled. "Not my problem." His smile fell away as did false happiness. The worry was etched into his lips, his eyes, and the way he scrunched his nose. "What happened?"

I didn't know what to say to him. But in the times of a war, with constant attacks, what could I say?

I said the truth.

* * *

"James, where is Sirius?" My voice, with a close inspection, held an exhaustion. But someone had to tell him.

My husbands eyes scrunched together. He looked so young, with his eyes staring intently into mine, searching for some clue as to why I asked. Oh, I really didn't want to do this. "I don't know," he answered. "All I remember was remembering him and Remus and Peter. That doesn't matter though."

I sighed. "Love, did you think of looking around?"

"Looking around?" His voice was digging my shattered heart in to the ground.

The light was around us. It was the glorious light, but it still did not compare to my James. I was laying down. On what, I was not sure. But it felt light and airy. How was I supposed to find a grip, an anchor, when there was nothing there for me to hold onto?

"James, sweetie, we're dead." It was a fact. Or maybe it was an opinion of those who wanted to believe in life after death. Or maybe it was a lie.

But I was always a terrible liar.

James looked at me. He looked at me as if I were the only thing here. Maybe that is how one looks at their heaven. Maybe that is how we were going to stay for the years to come. But it took him a few seconds to realize that what I said was a reminder that we had failed as parents.

"Harry," he breathed.

How was it, that in the blinding light of heaven, one could not feel naught but the darkness of hell?

* * *

**Excuse me for any mistakes or anything. This is written at the whim of my mind, with me being the backseat driver.**

**Cookies to these wonderful people, who read my first fanfic ever:**

**FireyShadows13  
Nikki Fish  
Emma  
young4ever  
Leara Bribage  
emerald yingfa5  
nacho5  
percabethisred13Xxlove  
And a very anonymous guest.**

**Best Wishes,**

**Phoneix Markers**


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